too many things happened during e weekends..

zharfan had no skl on friday. so we went to mum's place! i enjoy my stay there. coz i dun realli hav to tink alot. i will forget bout my love problems or watsoever. i cnt bothered actualli.

n yea. we had soo much fun w adorable-baby-bro. sunday morning was awesome cz my adorable baby was awake from 2am plus till 4.20am..

mum n ayah was too tired n i was e one hu layan him for e past 2 hrs.. buatkn susu, buatkn glucose, bbual ngn rayyan, dokong rayyan, burpkan rayyan, timang rayyan.. haha. ADE POTENTIAL TAK??

okay.. sunday afternn was as per normal. headed for tuition-ing.. den head back to mum's place. den home.

btw, 15th august was nenek esah's BIRTHDAY! HAPPY _ _ BIRTHDAY NENEK! I LOVEEEE U SOOO MUCH. SELAMAT PANJANG UMOR MURAH REZEKI!!!!

haha.

okay. i had a tiff w u noe hu. no matter how much i love him, his mind is still set so ape boleh buat kn. whatever i blurted out on saturday was just out of anger, n i was too upset..we've not been meeting for like 24 days. n today's SUPPOSED TO BE OUR 35TH MONTHSARY dat is 1 more month to our 3 yrs anni.

i dunno how can u lke put me aside after we've come tis far? y cant u just hold on for a moment. u even told me dat u wont come back to me n poly is like 2 more years. wat r u trying to say? y didnt u told me in e beginning wen u entered poly? gosh. i feel so dumb! dumb! dumb! u noe how much i loved u. since e very2 first day. i noe im over-protective, but hav u forgotten all those times wen he were in GOOD terms

i dun wan to elaborate more coz im feeling e pain. u noe boy, sometimes, u made me hate u soooooo bloody much. i said somtimes. but ill never forget u. never. if i realli do hate u, ive never waited for u till tis very day.. ive longed forget u by now, but no. its u hum i loved all tis while. but if ure avoiding me, u wanna b alone, im not gonna b stucked here, hanging. waiting for yr love as if i have no life. gosh noqman. y did u do tis to me. i loved u so much. i did love u. for now. i nid time to tink IS IT WORTH WAITING? for e THIRD TIME??

ENUFF BOUT HIM.

lets just b happy for a moment. nami, just tink abt rayyan dearest. haha. c, c u smiled. good job nami gd job.

okay. now. something happened yesterday nite which kinda cheered me up a lil bit.i went home, checked out my bla bla bla... i dun wan to tell u. hahaha.

after reading it. i was like suprised dat he still remmbered e day he first add me on msn. haha. n den we started talking. i dunno if i did blogged bout tis person b4.

hello _ _ _ _ _ ! if ure reading tis. hee.

okay. from e very first day i knew him, my first impression of him, veri2 sensible guy. loves giving me advises n encouragement throughout our friendship. n e shocking ting was, he fancy's me wen i was in sec 3 kan? fancy aje. not more den dat.n he knew dat i was w noq n didnt want to interfere. but 2007 was a disaster for me. be it relationship or studies. 3 days b4 puasa. n so we talked,n talked n talked n talked.

soon, we lost contact. or shud i say i ignored him. how cruel was i? e reasons y, i was back w noqman once again during hari raya. yea. ther were unexplainable tings which happened in between.

i knew i was some kind of a bitch leaving ppl here n ther all e time. but i dun noe y is noqman leaving me rather den me laving him. ?????????????? taktaulah. takdir agaknye.. last year was dramatic eversince noq left me.. it was real hard for me to forget him. I TOT dat thers only one solution to tis problem which is to love SOMEONE ELSE. n bloody hell nami. wen dat someone is like totally in love w u,u left him, simple reason, noqman. i tried my very best to forget noqman. but i seriously cant. im sori _ _ _. thers always a reason for evry single step i take.

n i had a looong chat w him yesterday. HE SUDDENLY POPPED OUT la. he touched my heart w his encouragement n those lepas2 punya bende. haish. i even saved our conversation.

i shall just cut n paste some of those tings he bbual yestrday. without his name. hee.oni him la. i dun wanna include myself. :]

Hey,be strong aiites Namirah.
....... says:
Everything will be fine soon.
........ says:
bersabar je Namirah.
......... says:Concentrate on Your studies alrytes

O levels around the corner Nami.
........ says:
Remember to study hard.
........ says:
This determines your future.
....... says:
Your future is always in your hands.
...... says:
Every step you take and every action or decisions you make will have an effect on the future.
...... says:
So raise your chin up and keep walking toward your goals and aims.
...... says:
I'm very sure you can make it this time.

....... says:
Very very sure.
.......says:
Insyallah.

bla bla bla

....... says:
And whenever i heard the song 'what hurts the most',it'll always remind me of you.

bla bla bla

....... says:
how can i when i didn't want to at the first place.
....... says:
sometimes,i really wanted to explain everything to you but i really didn't wantto disturb you.
........ says:
I read your blog often too and i saw how happy you were with noqman.
......says:
I felt happy for you too.

tis above part made me cry la.dun u feel touched if u were in my shoes. haish.

........ says:
You and the sweet memories we had will always be in my heart
........ says:
Im happy when you are.
........ says:
So Namirah,stay strong for me alrytes.

....... says:
Even if things are suppose or not suppose to end this way,i just want you to know Namirah,that i'll always be there for you.
....... says:
Smile always alrytes Nami.

haish.. thers still more actuali. he's diff u noe. unlike some other guys at friendster, wen e minute i deleted noqman's pics n labbelled my status as ITS COMPLICATED, there were like bape banyak lelaki yg wanted to kenal2. sent me messages la. asked me to add them at msn, some wanna mit me, some gav me thier hp number. some even wanna date me.aiya. kiasu ppl.. ni tknk cakap sombong. tapi, i realli dun like orang yr terburu2. o forget it. :/

thank u so much _ _ _ _ _ for e long chat.

i appreciate it so much. n thanks for being ther for me wen im at e loosing end. (: